Inhibited ejaculation is less common that rapid ejaculation. Nonetheless, if you are a man experiencing this problem, it can be equally frustrating. You probably had your first orgasm through masturbation, and you may continue to “take matters into your own hands,” often exerting more pressure than experienced during intercourse. In doing this, you essentially train yourself to sexually respond to lots of pressure.
A few of my clients have learned to reach orgasm with a partner by practicing self-stimulation more slowly and with less pressure. You can even practice this alone.
Some men create a self-fulfilling prophecy; that is, knowing that you’ve had difficulty in the past, you wonder if it will happen again. You may have these unsexy thoughts during intercourse – thereby slowing down your arousal. What to do? Focus on things that are sexy to you. It can be some aspect of your partner’s personality or body, a hoped for experience, or an embellishment of the situation you’re in.
Also, to reach orgasm, you’ll need a state of mind that welcomes the sexual sensations your partner is offering you. It may mean luxuriating in the physical gifts you are getting moment by moment! Many erotic experiences build the arousal level – and are a lot of fun! Rushing to intercourse may short-circuit things. Allow time for your arousal to build, which can help you reach a satisfying orgasm.
You can take matters in your own hands while in bed with your partner. Many men and women bring themselves to orgasm while a partner adds extra caresses or kisses. Who knows? You might be underestimating how arousing it could be for your partner to see you stimulate yourself!
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