Diana Wiley

Brad Coates, Esq.

Would you like a few secrets for becoming a vibrant Valentine? Brad Coates (www.CoatesandFrey.com – author of Divorce with Decency) and Dr. Diana’s fiancé, soon-to-be husband Bryan Brewer (www.Funding-Quest.com) joined forces to answer that question. Dr. Diana first described what she’s heard women friends and clients want when it comes to love. LOOKS were not mentioned much. Women tend to be much more forgiving of physical flaws – having spent a lifetime perhaps examining their own. BRAINS. Yes, women love a smart man (or at least a man who loves learning new things), and a man with a sense of humor. WEALTH. Most of the sample seemed not to be gold diggers, saying they can make their own way. Really what women want is someone who has found something he loves and does it well. KINDNESS topped the list! Women want a man who will treat her kindly – and for that, the best women will give and forgive much. Pay attention to the attention she pays; be patient, one-third more often than you feel patient; don’t try to fix it, try to understand it; tell her she makes you feel lucky – and you will win her heart!

Brad points out that many men in midlife move from competing to connecting. The happiest men are more expressive and sensuous – they have cultivated their feminine side. We all spoke about how sensual sex can extend pleasure. Dr. Diana and Bryan discussed what is personally romantic. Romancing the senses by engaging all of them – sight, touch, sound, scent, and taste. Light scented candles, play music, feed each other sensual foods, watch erotic films, wear sexy lingerie (“Brevity is the soul of lingerie” – Dorothy Parker). Smell is especially important: nuzzle and sniff each other; as is touch: massage each other, taking your time. Dr. Diana’s observation regarding Bryan: When I say “I love you,” the words are not spoken out of habit. It is my way of saying thank you for being you and returning some of the joy you have given me. If you have a Valentine, make the most of it!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Dr. Mark Schoen, a sex educator and filmmaker, returned once again to the show. His website www.SexSmartFilms.com is the Netflix of Sex Education! Indeed, this website is a sex educator’s dream come true. It’s particularly relevant to the issue of consent, which is gaining increasing prevalence these days. Many seem to be especially unable to talk about sex when they are having it, or about to have it. Education is the key. Use your words. If people felt less ambivalent about sex, they could use their words more easily and have much better – and fully consensual – sex! The Sex Smart Films site offers some 600 films, including sensate focus exercises, the science of orgasms, the true story of how babies are made, the science of attraction, and “TRANS” (about the transgendered folks dealing with discrimination and rejection). We also discussed his project with Dr. Mitch Tepper – “Love after War.” So much more needs to be done to help military veterans deal with their injuries, especially sexual injuries.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Dr. Dudley Danoff, MD, a world renowned urologist, is the author of “The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health  — How to Stay Vital at Any Age” (www.TheUtimateGuidetoMensHealth.com). We focused on his Chapter 9 having to do with aging and sexuality. Dr. Danoff says, “You do not stop having sex because you get old, you get old because you stop having sex!” Many older men experience ED. What is the cause? Hormones? Psychological changes? Vascular problems? Heart disease? Prolonged monogamy? Or simply all the insults to the body that accrue with aging? Dr. Danoff has the answers! Some women will say, “I have some menopausal symptoms, but my husband has more! I get tired of trying to start things in the bedroom. I always thought it was me. I stopped trying because I thought it was embarrassing to him.” Erectile dysfunction can be a huge challenge to a man’s virility and vitality. If an older man has a regular, trusted partner, he is at less risk as he ages. Most of us want emotional connection, safety, and communication. Many men did not get training for interpersonal communication. They got performance training. Dr. William Masters was asked his best advice for a man losing his potency. “Talk to your partner. Tell her you have these concerns. She’s probably concerned and afraid to tell you. Then talk to a competent sexologist about how to reactivate your bedroom scene. Communication is the privilege of exchanging vulnerabilities.” Dr. Danoff is as wise as Dr. Masters! Please listen to this program.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour).

What do men want? Brad Coates (www.CoatesandFrey.com) knows because he has handled more than eight thousand divorces over the last forty years. He also knows what women want, and everything is documented in the new fifth edition of his book Divorce with Decency. Brad is an unusual divorce attorney because he suggests relationship counseling! He even speaks on cruise ships, traveling to some 140 countries in the last fifteen years. Brad and Dr. Diana discussed the physical and emotional make-up of men, the values and communication styles, the economic issues, and life trajectories. Brad will return February 13th. Of course, we’ll talk romance and more!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. – Anais Nin.

Dr. Lori Buckley (www.DrLoriBuckley.com)  helped us with this “replenishing” by suggesting a number of decisions (similar to resolutions) we can make as we begin 2018. Decisions are at the core of her book 21 Decisions for Great Sex & a Happy Relationship (found on Amazon). What if your decision is to have a better sex life? Dr. Lori and Dr. Diana discussed action steps necessary. Trying something new is important; for example, try banning intercourse for 30 days to discover new and exciting ways to increase sexual pleasure. “Outercourse” is a great option because it helps women forget there is a goal, so that they can just enjoy the feelings and sensations of the ride. On Dr. Lori’s website you will find recommended sex toys – including strap ons and vibrating cock-rings. This show is filled with useful information – so, please listen!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):