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Dr. Diana Wiley

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Board-Certified Sex Therapist

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Board-Certified Sex Therapist

Diana Wiley

Dr. Lori Buckley, host of the “Looking For Love” podcast — Oct. 29, 2019

October 30, 2019 By Diana Wiley

Lori Buckley -- Looking For Love podcast logo

Do you want to know some behind the scenes secrets of sex therapists? Listen to this show because Dr. Lori Buckley (www.DrLoriBuckley.com) and your host Dr. Diana Wiley (www.DrDianaWiley.com) – two seasoned sex therapists – shared in a lively, informative conversation! First we talked about our backgrounds and how we decided on the specialty of sex therapy. Then we discussed why we love our work so much. We’ve both seen thousands of people – helping them learn what it possible. It is deeply satisfying work and it was fun to share success stories. A good sex therapist will teach the clients to communicate with each other and find solutions as they go along. Often old anger and resentments will dissipate. Sometimes we have to do psychotherapy before we can do sex therapy. Homework/homeplay assignments are exercises that typically include talking, touching, and setting up erotic scenarios. A therapist alternates between playing sex detective and sex coach. First, we ask a lot of questions to try to understand the problem, then give suggestions or ideas to try during lovemaking at home. We need to overcome barriers because some people are afraid of exposing themselves, whether physically or emotionally. We also often need to help our clients shake off shame. Some fear that their mates wouldn’t love or respect them if they knew their deepest sexual secrets – unusual turn-ons, colorful histories, long-ago rape or abuse. Partners learn that their secrets no longer control them. When therapy works, when clients begin to relax, to laugh, to have fun – it’s like watching a flower opening!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Brad Coates, Esq., author of “Divorce with Decency” — Oct. 1, 2019

October 2, 2019 By Diana Wiley

Brad Coates - Copy

Brad Coates is a Honolulu divorce lawyer and a frequent guest on this program. His book Divorce with Decency, Fifth Edition is full of straightforward insights about the winds of social change. He contends that divorce is not the shameful “failure” it was once considered – but more an “essential aspect of a revamped marriage system.” Brad contends that nowadays marriages must be held together by love, not by need. He has a list of marriage-killer factors: the internet (more options for more partners); sex (now available without marriage); religion declining; the “She-economy” (rapid rise in education, career and monetary advancement for women); living arrangements (cohabitation and living solo is fine); expanded benefits (government, corporate benefits previously available only to married folks, now available to “significant others”/”life partners”). Yet, as Mark Twain observed, “To get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with.”  The glue that holds couples together consists of many things: laughter, companionship, tenderness – and sex. The busyness of marriage is real, but we also use it to protect us from raw intimacy, from having to be too open too much of the time.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Dr. Linda De Villers, author of “Simple Sexy Food” — Sept. 17, 2019

September 18, 2019 By Diana Wiley

Simple Sexy Food_

Dr. Linda De Villers (www.drlindadevillers.com) returned to the program and we spoke about her book Simple Sexy Food: 101 Tasty Aphrodisiac Recipes and Sensual Tips to Stir Your Libido and Feed Your Love.  How are sensual foods, romance, and love intertwined? Ever since Marc Antony first fed Cleopatra grapes that connection has been there. Dr. Linda’s book is part aphrodisiac cooking manual and part sensual self-help. The bond between food and sensual pleasure is the first thing we learn at birth when nursing, and for much of our lives food and sex go hand in hand. We spoke about the most widely known aphrodisiacs, some of the most intriguing/fun beliefs about aphrodisiacs in the past, and what is most important in preparing an aphrodisiac meal. We use the same senses at the table to measure a great meal as we do to appreciate a fine time in bed – the eyes, the ears, the nose, the mouth, and tactile sensations. We have foreplay and we have fork play! Of course, the only truly infallible aphrodisiac is love; but, with erotic cooking, you could just fuel a little lust! Dr. De Villers will return November 12th to discuss her other book, Love Skills.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

David Steinberg, editor of “The Shepherd and the Nymph” — Sept. 3, 2019

September 4, 2019 By Diana Wiley

The Shepherd and the Nymph

Erotic author and photographer David Steinberg (www.DavidSteinberg.us) is a thoughtful observer, an explorer with empathy, and a writer with (sex-positive) honesty. I know this to be true because I’ve known David for thirty-plus years. On his previous appearance here we discussed his book This Thing We Call Sex. For this program we spoke of the soon-to-be-published book The Shepherd and the Nymph – The Erotic Letters of Marco Vassi and Eve Diana (edited by David Steinberg). Who was Marco Vassi and why is he important? What are his most important books? Who is Eve Diana and what was the nature of their relationship? David talked about the story behind this book and how it came about. The back story is fascinating! Vassi was a part of the NY sex scene in the 70s and 80s; in fact, he revealed he had sex with a thousand men and five hundred women. He died of AIDS in 1989. His legacy includes many books exploring sexual adventures and openness. His relationship with Eve Diana is noteworthy because David’s book is a private view into their sexual connection. Please tune in – there is more. David’s work as an erotic photographer is also fascinating!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Joan Price, author of “Sex After Grief” — Aug. 20, 2019

August 22, 2019 By Diana Wiley

Sex After Grief

The “senior sexpert,” a “wrinkly sex kitten” and a true advocate for ageless sexuality returned to the show. Joan Price – www.joanprice.com – has written many books including her most recent “Sex After Grief – Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved.”  Being sexual is a reminder that one is still alive! Others need the affirmation that they are still attractive. Even so, when one has lost a partner, often someone of many years, the journey can be complicated. Joan and Dr. Diana have both had husbands who died and know the struggles first-hand. In this book Joan describes myths about sex and grieving, solo sex (and on-the-air she offered  sex toy reviews!), massage or more (her own erotic massage), dating again, journaling, and considerations about what is next. For those with survivor guilt, Joan teaches that they are not replacing love, they are adding to love. Hopefully, there is enough love to go around! Listen for more details to his lively, informative discussion.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Sheri Winston, author of “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal” — August 6, 2019

August 7, 2019 By Diana Wiley

Women's Anatomy of Arousal

Frequent guest Sheri Winston is fun, funny, and possesses incredible knowledge! She is the author of Women’s Anatomy of Arousal and today’s program focused on Chapter 4 “The Red-Hot Dance of Yin and Yang.” Sexual energy – the Yin and the Yang – have  similarities and differences. Sheri helped us to understand the differences so that we can deeply connect. Often at our core is the Yin or the Yang energy – with many having both energies, the receptive (Yin) and the Yang (initiating and directing). “Sexual pleasure in woman is a kind of magical spell; it demands complete abandon.”– Simone de Beauvoir. Not feeling safe because of past sexual traumas can block energies and orgasm. There is so much more. Please tune in!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

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Diana Wiley, Ph.D.
Seattle WA
206-448-5359

Diana@DrDianaWiley.com

Book


"A Year's Worth of Sex Therapy in One Volume"

Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine

About Dr. Diana

Hello, I’m Dr. Diana Wiley, licensed marriage & family therapist and board certified sex therapist. I have been providing talk therapy to … [ Read More ]

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