Diana Wiley

We need to go from Quarantining to Cocooning. Host Dr. Diana Wiley has a soon-to-be-published book Love in the Time of Corona, and her guest is Sheri Winston (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) author of Succulent SexCraft. Together they spoke of the COVID-19 level of uncertainty which often leads to increased stress and anxiety. Since sex is good for reducing stress and deepening a relationship, use this time as an opportunity to explore your sexual relationship and rekindle the sparks of passion. Plan a date night (or morning/afternoon) at home. Put it on the calendar. Sex does not have to be spontaneous. We both have Chapters on touch. Sheri has the “Six P’s of Touch: PRESENCE: Be present. Touch here and now. PURPOSE: Hold a positive intention. PATIENCE: Don’t rush, take your time. PRECISION: Be accurate and focused. (Body Painting each other can be a fun game!) PATTERN: Think musically and artistically – use rhythm, themes, and motifs. PROGRESSION: Keep it moving – and coherent.  Laughing and playing together is important because couples who laugh together last together. Creative silliness is a great solution! The word silly did not originally mean ridiculous or trivial. It comes from the Old English saelig, which meant prosperous, happy, and healthy. A little silliness can help you enjoy all those blessings. Sheri compared some sex to how dogs and cats like to play. The dog, often a man, may dive right into the genitals while the cat-like woman wants more of a warmup connection, going at her pace. Laughter yoga and sexual energy were also discussed. Tune in!

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The news is dire. There are a lot of questions and not many answers. On and off social media, many people have wondered if we’ll emerge from quarantine with a divorce boom or a baby boom. Brad Coates, author of Divorce With Decency, Fifth Edition, is a divorce attorney and mediator. He knows all about divorce; of course, Dr. Diana covered the sex part! In a matter of weeks, the global epidemic has transformed relationships, dating, and sex. Brad noted that there are three primary causes for divorce: money, sex, and family. Communication is key in all areas. Talking (without really listening to the other) is the most dangerous thing a couple can do – especially when they are stressed. Brad’s firm deals with domestic violence cases and restraining orders. Victims of abuse and domestic violence are especially vulnerable under a state-sanctioned lockdown. Brad talked about separation/divorce, implications of the huge economic downturn, and Dr. Diana spoke about Love in the Time of Corona – giving a small preview of her soon-to-be-published book. Brad and Dr. Diana shed some light on things that need attention and examination.

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How do you navigate intimate time during the coronavirus? Two sex therapists, Dr. Diana and her guest Dr. Lori Buckley (www.DrLoriBuckley.com), advise that enjoyable sexual activity between partners can have a distinct beneficial effect on the mental and physical health of a couple. If you are quarantined with a partner, you have more time together – make the most of it! Yes, there are many fears and concerns at this time; but, reel it in … and turn off the news, step away from the computer, open a window, and take some deep breaths. Then turn to your partner, with an open mind and a playful spirit, and make a plan for a date night at home. It begins by putting the date night and sex on the calendar. When sex is scheduled, spontaneous affection won’t be misinterpreted as an invitation for sex. Arousal, including emotional foreplay, often precedes desire, especially for women.

We shared some exercises for couples who have been “out of touch” so that they can gradually re-engage in non-sexual ways. The physical foreplay can include a vulva massage. Dr. Lori’s all natural product “Luv My Vulva” can be found at www.SexyStuffStore.com. Put in the code “DrDiana” for a 10% discount through the end of April. Also, explore new sex toys – especially useful for those of you who don’t have a partner. Opportunities for masturbation can be really good! An orgasm can have many body/health benefits! For everyone: be kind to yourself and stay in gratitude. Because when you are in gratitude, you can’t be in fear.

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Brad Coates and Dr. Diana love to talk about romance – and have been doing it (on the radio) for more than 20 years! Brad’s title for this broadcast is: “Divergent Wants, Needs, Expectations, and Desires That Men and Women Each Have for Their Romantic Relationships.” As a divorce lawyer, he well knows the three main causes of divorce: sex, money, and family. This show is called LOVE, LUST & LAUGHTER – so, of course we focused on “sex!” As Brad says … in divorce situations there has been either too much sex outside the marriage, or too little within it. “Relationship ruptures” are first explained by Brad in the form of data: 60% of men, but only 35% of women, say sexual activity is important in their lives. Once again, COMMUNICATION rules! Why are many women not so interested in sex? What about the older woman and divorce? More thought-provoking topics!  Brad is the author of Divorce With Decency, Fifth Edition.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):