Relationship Skills: Playing Nicely With Others was Sheri Winston’s focus. Sheri (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) is a teacher, author, and medical professional with some thirty years of experience. Dr. Diana and Sheri spoke about the balance between self-awareness (“I”), partner-awareness (“You”) and partner-awareness (“Us”). Self-awareness requires a good relationship with the self; sometimes the key to better sex might be repairing that relationship. The “You” part may be improved by syncing up with your partner – plugging into a partner’s breath, pelvic thrusts, and vocalizations. As for the “Us” part, being fully transparent – sharing everything, especially those parts you don’t want to share. Can you let your lover love you completely, your darkness as well as your light? There are many teachers, including the Gottmans and Harville Hendrix (Imago).  Eliminating negative patterns by resolving to go 30 days without negativity, and by replacing judgment with curiosity can be great “fixes.” Sheri’s books are Succulent Sex Craft and Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure (both available online).  Please listen for a lively, informative show!

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What is your sexual history – and what might it mean? Sheri Winston returned to the program to sort this out with Dr. Diana. Sheri is a celebrated sexuality teacher, and an award-winning author. Her book Succulent Sex Craft is available on Amazon.com; but you’ll also want to check out her website www.IntimateArtsCenter.com. Most everybody has learned something from their sexual history. For some women “happily ever after” stories take over: as in, someday my Prince will come – and so will I! Sheri’s book talks about erotic communication, and succulent sex craft for partners. One of her suggestions is for couples to have a Play Shop where there is “show and tell” for kissing, for stroking, for foot massages, for genitals, etc. … Start slow, super slow. It’s good to remember that if men are microwaves, women are slow-cooking ovens! Couples will switch roles, and if receiving, having responsible responses. Want to hear the details?  Tune in!

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Good information, like a good man, is hard to find. Dr. Dudley Danoff, M.D. offers abundant, accurate information in his book The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health. Dr. Danoff discussed super foods to invigorate your sex life, the health benefits of having sex, top questions a gay man should ask his doc, and ways to stay sexy as you age. He is a world renowned urologist with this message: great sex is at its finest with an emotional connection – with good skills backed by informed knowledge. (More information on his website at: www.theultimateguidetomenshealth.com.) By listening to this program and by reading his book, you may realize it’s never too late to change your sexual story. Revise your story if it leaves you incompetent or incomplete. Please tune in for a fascinating show!

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The actress Jeanne Moreau once said, “Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” Valentine’s Day is near — so Brad Coates and Dr. Diana spoke about the widening gender gap and how this may affect love and relationships. Brad’s research suggests that when it comes to romance, men tend to be the first in and the last out. The #MeToo movement has empowered women, some experiencing more resentment and hostility toward males. In a partnership, the sexual relationship needs to be satisfying and fun! Intimacy is a balm, a connector, a place of surprise, and the redirection of tension into pleasure. We all need more pleasure in our lives! Most women want a man who will treat her kindly; if he does, she will give and forgive much. Men: don’t try to fix it – do try to understand it. Be appreciative and don’t take your partner for granted. If you have a Valentine, make the most of it! Brad Coates is the author of Divorce with Decency (Fifth Edition), and his website is www.CoatesandFrey.com.

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Stephen Snyder, M.D., author of Love Worth Making – How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship, returned to the program. He and Dr. Diana explored these topics: Can erotic love last? – and, Why men and women don’t understand each other. The good doctor says you don’t need desire to have good sex. Slow down…it’s going to be okay. Dr. Snyder suggests spending time in bed naked doing nothing together. Mindfulness, and being aware of your breathing and your senses may contribute to a growing arousal. Sex is all about paying attention. She may try to get his attention by showing what she has, who she is. The man, through his behavior, may show what he is capable of doing. In recent times, the power dynamic has shifted, and this is confusing for some men. There’s more, of course, in this fascinating show…Listen in! Dr. Snyder’s website is www.LoveWorthMaking.com.

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Jessa Zimmerman – www.JessaZimmerman.com – author of Sex without Stress – A Couple’s Guide to Overcoming Disappointment, Avoidance,  & Pressure returned to the program. This time we focused on “The Nine Phases of Taking the Stress Out of Sex.” Phase 1 is prioritizing intimacy – where it’s not just sex you’re scheduling; rather, it’s a trip to the playground. It’s important to just show up. With this sort of journey, there are no expectations, and you are seeing it as an opportunity to have fun. And, having fun together often fosters desire! There are many benefits derived from the giver-receiver exercises: one is that you need to take care of yourself, the foundation of trust. We also discussed exploring eroticism, her book’s Phase 9, where it is important to take and allow pleasure. Consent is built into this exercise. Practicing emotional surrender by reminding yourself of what you are especially grateful for in your lover…Be playful and expressive. Laugh!  The articulate, informed Jessa will return in the new year.

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