After nearly ten years on Progressive Radio Network, I suspect you know that I have a deep belief: your sexuality matters! My friend and colleague, Dr. Linda De Villers (www.drlindadevillers.com), has the very same belief. We’ve both recently returned from conferences – Linda was at the 24th Congress of the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) held last month in Mexico City, and I attended the annual meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS or Quad-S) last week in Denver. We had conversations about two of the presenters: Dr. Ellen Laan (WAS) and Dr. Meredith Chivers (Quad-S).
A few points from Dr. Laan’s talk included that sexual pleasure is a very gender-embodied affair, that women have four times as much testosterone than estrogen, that sex for reproduction occurs about 1% of the time (the other 99% for pleasure), that there is way too much focus on penises (fingers work better), that lesbians do better with regard to orgasms (vaginal – again fingers, not dildos), and that gender differences are on the decline. Conclusion: Instead of men being from Mars and women from Venus, perhaps we are all from the same planet.
Meredith Chivers is leading the Canadian effort to give women better orgasms. She and other researchers are increasingly using eye-trackers and brain scanners to get a direct look at our largest sex organ: the brain. Heterosexual women’s genitals become aroused from viewing lesbian sex, copulating bonobo apes, and more. Female sexuality is more fluid. Vaginal flow and lubrication does not always mean that a woman feels subjectively aroused. It may be adapted to react to sexual violence – lubricating to protect delicate tissues from injury. Men who say, “If you’re wet, you must want it,” are buying into a misogynist myth.
Distraction is also studied: it may well be that distraction correlates with sexual dysfunctions such as distressingly low desire and arousal. Mindfulness may work as a bridge to sexual awareness. Sexuality is a window into one of the greatest human mysteries: communication between the mind and the body – and how we can better align the two. Tune in for so much more!
Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):
