Many people find it difficult to discuss their sexual desires and needs – especially with their intimate partner. This can be a problem both during sexual activity as well as at other times when you just want to discuss a sexual matter.
You may experience this difficulty for any of a number of reasons. Perhaps you are just shy and embarrassed about the subject. Maybe you are conflicted about whether you should use clinical terminology or slang terms. A common belief is that your partner should “just know” what to do, so there is no need to talk about it.
This difficulty – whether it is experienced by one or both partners – can lead to misunderstandings, crossed signals, and hurt feelings. As an experienced sex therapist, I am very fluent in this subject. I can help you learn practical sexual communication skills that fit with your sensibilities. Effective sex talk allows both partners to become more comfortable, which in turn often leads to greater understanding and satisfaction.
Once you get comfortable with your chosen vocabulary and learn some active listening skills, the scene is set to ask for what you really want. Often, this is more difficult for a woman to do. It can help to make a game out of sexual requests, or to take turns in revealing your sexual wish list. If you’ve been asked for something you feel awkward about, you can be creative and try to accommodate in a different way.
Difficulty talking about sex is a common issue for many couples, and I can help you learn to navigate these waters.
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