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Sexual abuse…sexual assault…these are difficult topics. Most of us have sexual wounds. For this program we have one of the best sexual experts – consider it a consultation with Dr. Stephanie Buehler (www.TheBuehlerInstitute.com). Dr. Stephanie and Dr. Diana discussed how sexual abuse affects adults; for example, at the time of the molestation a girl may feel pleasure (we are hard-wired for it) – but it is often mixed with other feelings such as disgust, anger, fear, and confusion. In therapy the client gets to sort out what happened, why they’re having the reactions they’re having, and what their triggers might be. If the victim can tell someone immediately what happened, if she is believed, and if the person she tells is supportive and affirms she did not cause the abuse – the outcome may be less traumatic. What about the partner? Most have deep feelings of outrage, shame, and guilt to work out. Sensual loveplay, especially massage, may be ideal before she is ready for lovemaking. For some men it may be difficult to stop at the sensual without becoming sexual. Appreciating sensuality apart from sexuality is a crucial ingredient of problem-free lovemaking! It is important to seek help as soon as possible (from a trained therapist) so that potential opportunities for pleasure and intimacy can be fulfilled!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

 

Ross Rosenberg and Dr. Diana spoke about codependents and emotional manipulators – otherwise known as narcissists. His book “The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us” describes these dynamics in detail.  www.TheHumanMagnetSyndrome.com  Love, sex and relationships can go sideways because giving, selfless individuals (codependents) are often drawn to self-centered, controlling partners (emotional manipulators). Perhaps one of the saddest aspects of these “magnetic” connections is that it acts as a barrier to true pleasure in nearly every area of life.

Click below to listen to the interview (Approx. one hour):

Dr. Stephanie Buehler (www.TheBuehlerInstitute.com) is an internationally recognized expert in sex and relationship therapy. Through the media, including articles to educate on making sex lives better, Dr. B. addresses common problems like mismatched desire or difficult problems like sexual pain. The latter was the focus for this program. Both Dr. Stephanie and Dr. Diana have experience with female clients expressing similar themes: unconsummated relationships on the verge of unraveling, fears about bearing children, and feelings of pain, shame, and confusion associated with sexual pain. Both doctors explored these questions: Are there conditions that cause sexual pain? How do these problems affect a woman and her relationship? How is the male partner specifically affected? What are treatments for sexual pain? Since Dr. Stephanie also deals with sex and cancer, there was some discussion about this complicated arena. In our culture, sexual pleasure can have dangerous overtones. It may be the first thing we toss overboard during life’s various storms. We may need to remember that our sexuality is at our core…as important as the need to eat and breathe!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

April Masini – www.AskApril.com – returned to the program. April is an advice columnist where over 20,000 original relationship questions have been posted and answered. She is also an author: “Date Out of Your League” for men; “Think & Date Like a Man,” for women; “50 First Dates”; and “The Next 50 Dates.” Because she gets many questions from singles, April and Dr. Diana focused on some of their issues. For example, How do I get out of the “friend zone”? Her piece for YAHOO Personals “Why Nice Guys Finish Last” was referenced…The nice guy may care too much, too soon. The woman is not going to value him anymore than he values himself. Online dating, its ups and its downs were examined – along with tips for improving the process! If there is too much emotional baggage of fear, anxiety or mental conflicts, it is clear: online dating does not heal emotional pains. Psychotherapy may be necessary. Look for someone who has already done some inner work. April and Dr. Diana agreed that seeking a mate whose values and background echo your own is wise. April will return soon!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):