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David Steinberg (www.DavidSteinberg.us) writes about “The Myths of Monogamy” in his book This Thing We Call Sex.  Dr. Diana and David spoke about monogamy and affairs – the latter often a fallout of monogamy. The myths include that monogamy is the natural order of things, people who act on desires will be punished, and those who adhere are morally superior. What meaning is attached if one’s partner is attracted to someone else? Often the one who is betrayed, asks, “What’s wrong with me?” Instead, an affair may reflect a form of self-discovery, a quest for a new or lost identity. When we commit to a partner, we commit to a story. Yet we can remain forever curious: What other stories could we have been a part of? Affairs may offer us a view of those other live. Affairs may be the revenge of the deserted possibilities. We agree that if couples could bring into their marriage or partnership just one-tenth of the boldness and the playfulness that they bring to their affair, their relationship might feel quite different. David Steinberg is articulate and wise! Please tune in for a thought provoking program.

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Orgasms! They are at the center of letting go. “The pleasure of living and the pleasure of orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life.” ~ Wilhelm Reich.  Sheri Winston (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) returned to the program this week. Her book Succulent Sex Craft is a wealth of information! This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to improve their erotic virtuosity, whether playing solo or with a partner. Sheri says sex is the glue and the lubricant of long-term relationships – often, helping create loving kindness. Dr. Diana and Sheri spoke about getting to the orgasm. Having an orgasm starts with getting aroused – and arousal begins in the brain, specifically the limbic area of the brain where our sense of smell intersects with our emotional process, our memory store and our sexuality. Arousal is also expressed through our breathing. Partners can even synchronize their breathing and movement. We also spoke of cannabis and sex which can erase a lot of our inhibitors and keep us in the moment. It’s often about finding pleasure and enjoyment in a very stressed out world. Plus, there are health benefits! Having regular orgasms will extend your life and provide the basis for more long lasting relationships. Studies have shown that people who enjoy a regular, satisfying sex life (i.e. regular orgasms) are less stressed, less  depressed and generally more well physically, mentally and emotionally. Imagine if we grew up believing that pleasure was a normal and healthy part of maturing sexuality. The world could not stay the same!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

When Sheri Winston (www.IntimateArtsCenter.com) and Dr. Diana last spoke there was a promise to talk about how to create and then play inside a “conjoined erotic trance” — a state where intuitive magic happens! Sheri’s books are Succulent Sex Craft and Women’s Anatomy of Arousal. We spoke of the brain and how sex can make you stupid! Sheri’s sexual tool craft kit includes sounds and breath, visualizing heart energy, and rocking the hips. Turning it on, turning it up involves creating intention (good for low desire). Domesticity can be dangerous! Erotic skills, including more foreplay and mindfulness, may be essential. Sheri empathized that all erotic skills are learnable! Just as the search for an orgasm is not about the destination, but more about the journey. Sheri and Diana talked about learning the skills along the way in a more mature, wise manner. Perhaps this requires older perspectives? Tune in to hear two older and wiser women speak about sexuality and relationships!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Affairs often reflect unmet expectations, lack of excitement, boring sex lives, emotional detachment, and feeling more like a parent than a sexual being. Attorney Brad Coates helped sort out these issues and more. In the fifth edition of his book Divorce with Decency, he addresses affairs and infidelity. Is infidelity inevitable? Are men “hardwired” to cheat? Brad Coates has headed the largest divorce law firm in Hawaii for nearly forty years, and Dr. Diana has seen couples for thirty-five years. Both have observations regarding affairs. Monogamy may not be the gold standard of relationships. Many therapists believe that healthy sexual desire is driven by love – despite the extremely common experience that in long-term relationships, as love deepens, desire declines. Both Brad and Dr. Diana have opinions about how to cope with affairs – and how to rebuild in the aftermath. Every affair will redefine a marriage, and every marriage will determine what the legacy of the affair will be. Please listen for more informative details!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):