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Dr. Ava Cadell, founder of Loveology University — Feb. 9, 2021

February 10, 2021 By Diana Wiley

Romance. We don’t talk about romance much these days. For many, it has yielded to more pressing priorities: the pandemic, health, children, financial survival. A longtime friend and colleague, Dr. Ava Cadell, is Dr. Diana’s guest and they both agree that Valentine’s Day this year is like no other. These sex docs also agree on how important it is to keep making deposits in a couple’s “love bank” so you don’t run out of currency (which in this case is romance and inclination).

Dr. Ava is the founder of Loveology University and perfectly poised to talk about – Yes! – romance. She has many suggestions for how to make the most out of Valentine’s Day. Love coupons are fun. Giving your lover a photo of your body in a love note is seductive. A new sex toy can provide lots of excitement and pleasure. Make some Valentine Vows—for example, “I promise to give you a sensual massage every week for a year.” Sensual foods and romance and love have long been intertwined, ever since Marc Antony first fed Cleopatra grapes. So, create a romantic dinner for two, perhaps even including some aphrodisiac dishes.

Experienced lovers know about the best aphrodisiac: words. Verbal seduction is the surest road to physical seduction! This seems to be especially true for women, who tend to be more emotional and like expressions of love in a card. Men often prefer sexual favors.

To facilitate all of these romantic, sexy behaviors, Dr. Ava is offering her “4-Packs for Lovers” at half price (use promo code DRAVA50). Also, view her series of meditations on You Tube. Dr. Ava’s latest e-book—Neuroloveology: The Power to Mindful Love & Sex—is being offered free to listeners. This book gives tools to make love last with plenty of fun! Here’s an erotic formula: sensual pleasure + playfulness = great sex!

Listen to the interview to hear more tips for a great Valentine’s Day! Also, check out the free Sex Menu download from Dr. Diana’s book Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine. V-Day is a day to focus on love – and sex!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Hallie Lieberman, The History of Male Escorts — Jan. 26, 2021

January 27, 2021 By Diana Wiley

Hallie Lieberman, sex historian and journalist, previously was Dr. Diana’s guest on Dec. 29, 2020, when they spoke about her book, Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy. Today’s show concerns Hallie’s next book about the history of male escorts (including Rudolph Valentino). “Older woman with means seeks a young man – for adventure, connection, and sex.” What’s wrong with older women paying for sex?

In an Australian study from 2018, the women explained why they paid for sex: for therapy (medical and trauma issues); to learn (new types of sex play/experiences); for intimacy (touch affirmations); but overwhelmingly it was for pleasure – their own pleasure, not the man’s. We have a sex industry because we need and want one. Understanding the people in this huge industry is not helped by either idealizing or condemning them. Tune in for a lively conversation between Hallie Lieberman and Diana Wiley, who did research in 1992 on Japan’s “BoyToy” phenomenon and is also author of Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce, Clinical Sexologist — Jan. 12, 2021

January 13, 2021 By Diana Wiley

Many have taken quarantine time to self-reflect, helping pave the way to healthier relationships. Folks are reporting more clarity into what they want in life. Life is short and at the end of the day, relationships are what matters most. Dr. Diana and her guest Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce had so much to discuss, especially since they both practice what they preach! Dr. Nancy is a sex and relationship author, podcaster, international speaker, and sensuality educator. She and her husband Mark, an M.D., co-host the Conscious Living Show. On a recent program they spoke of entertaining each other during quarantine and taking full advantage of their time alone. Dr. Diana’s book—Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine—highlights the same message. The docs spoke about playfulness and leaving judgements behind so that sex can be more adventurous! Spice it up!

Another Dr. Nancy show is Wild Women with Wine that she co-hosts with Karenlee Poter of Sex Talk With My Mom. Dr. Nancy’s counseling practice includes giving guidance and advice to singles for dating in a socially distanced world. There’s a new normal and the pandemic has rewritten the rules of dating. There may be a much longer courtship conducted over Zoom. Jotting down some conversation topics and questions in advance can help with nervousness: What have you learned about yourself? What would you love to do if there were no constraints? What’s the best advice anyone ever gave you? Finally a couple meets and the first kiss could trigger thoughts of infection rather than infatuation. Or, they could progress to sex faster than usual – these people have already spent considerable time getting to know each other long distance. Dr. Nancy also discussed her Exotic Lifestyle Retreats, an intimacy oasis in Jamaica. Dr. Nancy’s openness, deep knowledge, and sense of fun adventure shines in this interview!

Click below to listen to the interview (apporx. one hour):

Hallie Lieberman, author of “Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy” — Dec. 29, 2020

December 30, 2020 By Diana Wiley

Love, Lust & Laughter’s last show of 2020 concluded on a high note (or should we say buzz?) with guest Hallie Lieberman, author of Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy. Hallie’s book provides a fascinating history that tells the story of sex toys from ancient phalluses to 21st century vibrating rabbits. She also discusses the cultural controversies related to sexual pleasure and sexual rights.

Hallie Lieberman began selling sex toys at passion parties, and then got into a graduate program where she studied the history of sex toys. Her book includes profiles of many sex toy pioneers. Betty Dodson (1929-2020) believed that masturbation with a vibrator was liberating for women and essential to knowing their own bodies and responses. (See Dr. Diana’s tribute show to Betty Dodson with Dr. Mark Schoen, November 10, 2020.) Dr. Diana recounted her women’s sexuality groups in the late 80s and early 90s and the journeys women took to understand their sexuality and to reach orgasms after sexual trauma. Many of these women held the overly romantic hope that someday my Prince will come – and so will I!

Hallie and Dr. Diana also talked about Joani Blank (1937-2016) who opened the first Good Vibrations store in San Francisco in 1977, and Dr. Carol Queen who is the staff sexologist, historian, and curator of their Antique Vibrator Museum. (See Dr. Diana’s interview with Dr. Carol Queen, September 15, 2020) Current trends include the huge increase in sex toys sales during the pandemic, and the recommendation by the New York City Health Department to masturbate as a way to stay safe. The author concludes that sex toys aren’t just about the amazing technology but about the meaning—that sex toys can mean so many things to so many people!

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Brad Coates, Esq., author of “Divorce with Decency” — Dec. 15, 2020

December 16, 2020 By Diana Wiley

How do we make it through an already difficult time of year when many measures we have to take to slow the spread of the coronavirus—including sheltering in place and social distancing—exacerbate feelings of isolation and grief? Besides dealing with pandemic/holiday stresses, how do we safeguard a marriage against divorce? Brad Coates, divorce attorney and author of Divorce with Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor’s Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues (5th Edition), joined Dr. Diana to sort out these questions and more.

Beginning with COVID and the holidays, it is useful to set realistic expectations, including being flexible about factors beyond your control, and adopting psychological flexibility to help regulate your emotions. Step back and shift your perspective when things do not go the way you expect. Practice self-care by tending to your most basic needs, including sleeping, eating, exercising, and having sex. Yes, sex makes you happier (is a natural anti-depressant), increases immunity, and improves the relationship. (Dr. Diana’s book, Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine, has lots of suggestions for keeping things spicy during lockdown.)

We are usually stressed about the holidays because there is too much to do, so try to keep things in perspective. This year there is less busyness, perhaps providing more time for reflection and reminders not to take things for granted. By embracing your feelings, difficult conversations about hard decisions are facilitated, as are setting boundaries, being intentional and mindful.

Another important topic: ways to safeguard a marriage against divorce. For one guy it was too late: “My marriage had preexisting conditions, and COVID killed it … We weren’t a partnership, we weren’t working together.” If you want to avoid divorce, being a cheerleader for your spouse, with lots of support and encouragement, really works. So does having sex with your spouse or significant other. We all crave assurance—if not in words, then in body language—that we are still desirable to our partner. We don’t just want a partner who is willing to have sex with us, we want one who wants to have sex with us. If contemplating a divorce, remember that you had what it took to fall in love; it’s entirely possible that you have what it takes to stay there.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):

Chelsea Cebara, cannabis innovator — Dec. 1, 2020

December 2, 2020 By Diana Wiley

Chelsea Cebara

A quiet revolution is taking place in bedrooms all across America: couples are discovering (or rediscovering) the pleasures of combining cannabis and sex. Today’s guest is Chelsea Cebara (@ChelseaCebara), a Seattle-based educator and product innovator in this area. Chelsea was the main developer of Velvet Swing, a cannabis-infused personal lubricant launched in 2017. Dr. Diana’s husband Bryan Brewer joined the lively discussion about the pros & cons and dos & don’ts of adding cannabis to your sex life. Now legal as either a recreational or medical product in 33 states, cannabis is helping more and more people enhance their enjoyment of sexual activity. As a sex therapist, Dr. Diana has recommended cannabis to selected clients with positive results.

The conversation covered a wide range of topics, including methods of consumption, physiological and psychological effects, practical considerations, and having more fun in bed. Chelsea reminded listeners that practicing informed consent is a critical requirement for engaging in sex under the influence of cannabis. She recommended using a “sex menu” as a light-hearted approach to discussing which activities that a couple could consider. (Download Dr. Diana’s free Sex Menu Exercise worksheet from www.DearDrDiana.com).

Chelsea consults with companies on new product development in both the THC and CBD markets. She also offers personal advisory services as a cannabis concierge to help people navigate their initial journey with cannabis use. For complete details, visit www.ChelseaCebara.com.

Also available for free download at Dr. Diana’s website is a more detailed overview of the topic, “Cannabis For Couples,” a 20-page bonus chapter of Dr. Diana’s recent book Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine.

Click below to listen to the interview (approx. one hour):